Gimme that Fish

If you haven't seen the recent McDonald's commercial your most likely an Amish diary farmer or you just don't love yourself. Probably one of most addictive commercial lyrics sense that woman worn that itty bitty teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini for the first time.

Man Attacks Fiancee For Putting The Cheese On Wrong

This news story made me feel a whole lot better about my life. And about my fiance..




"Lyndel Toppin's 44-year-old fiancee may need surgery after he attacked her for not putting the cheese on his meatball sandwich in the correct place. Toppin's fiance, not named in this story, may need ligament surgery after the "barbaric attack."
The arrest affadvit states that Lyndel "became enraged due to the victim not placing cheese on his hoagie roll correctly." Toppin then went to another room, got a knife, and slashed her finger so badly 23 stitches were needed to close the wound.
Toppin then bit down on his fiance's wrist and would not let go. Toppin is currently being held in a correctional facility. Superintendent John Reilly Jr. of the local Philadelphia prison said "Wait till he gets a load of the prison food." "

Chia head Obama

Did anyone here about this?

Chia Obama has been pulled from Walgreen's shelves after only one week because it did not fit with the "company image" although an earlier report from AOL that the item was racist was said to have been a misquote.

The Deerfield-based company spokesman said the item, a likeness of the commander in chief which sprouts a green chia afro, was, in fact, said to have been labelled offensive by customers.

Joe Pedott president of the company which makes the clay bust says the item is "totally patriotic" and "It's hope, courage and pro-American," adding that he voted for Obama and sales of the item had been increasing steadily during the week.

I think thats dumb. I don't see how it's so racist. Would it still be racist if it were a Will Ferrel Chia head?

detroit cops stop pillow fight

11:31 Et Mon, April 6,2009

Detroit- police in detroit have ruffled some feathers after they cracked down on an organized pillow fight at a downtown park.

The detroit news reports that police at Campus Martius Park prevented the fight by disarming pillow toting participants. The bout was part of a worldwide event organized on social networking sights.

 hopefully this post will be a success since its my first ever 

Man Charged After Passing Gas Toward Cop

Here is a story from West Virginia. Although funny, it could also cause controversy. Who's side are you on? I personally feel that the charge was unnecessary and the cop was probably just looking to vent out some stress. Then again, who knows.

A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer.

Jose A. Cruz, 34, of Clarksburg, was pulled over early Tuesday for driving without headlights, police said. According to the criminal complaint, Cruz smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and failed three field sobriety tests before he was handcuffed and taken to a police station for a breathalyzer test.

As Patrolman T.E. Parsons prepared the machine, Cruz scooted his chair toward Parsons, lifted his leg and "passed gas loudly," the complaint said.

Cruz, according to complaint, then fanned the gas toward the officer.

"The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons," the complaint alleged.

He was also charged with driving under the influence, driving without headlights and two counts of obstruction.

Cruz acknowledged passing gas, but said he didn't move his chair toward the officer nor aim gas at the patrolman. He said he had an upset stomach at the time, but police denied his request to go to the bathroom when he first arrived at the station.

"I couldn't hold it no more," he said.

He also denied being drunk and uncooperative as the police complaint alleged. He added he was upset at being prepared for a breathalyzer test while having an asthma attack. The police statement said he later resisted being secured for a trip to a hospital that he requested for asthma treatment.

Cruz said the officers thought the gas incident was funny when it happened and laughed about it with him.

"This is ridiculous," he said. "I could be facing time."

You weren't fired because of the recession, you just suck at your job.

Hello, all! This is Aleesuhn_Muhree reporting here at News Dump. I found this article at The Onion, and thought that maybe you could all relate to such stupidity:

Area Man Thinks He Was Fired Because Of Recession
March 6, 2009 Issue 45•10

CHICAGO—Though there were more than a dozen just causes—including tardiness, gross incompetence, and poor hygiene—to terminate Louis Palmer from his position as an accountant at Brillstein & Altman CPA, PC, the 29-year-old told reporters Monday that he believes he was fired due to economic conditions beyond anyone's control. "Nobody's safe from this recession, man," said Palmer, who might have noticed that his employer actually posted a 12 percent growth in 2008 had he not so frequently been asleep at his desk. "I'm going to miss the two-hour lunch breaks and all the free office supplies, but what are you going to do? The economy's a total wreck." Palmer returned home that evening to discover that his wife had left him, which he attributed to the war in Iraq."

The Onion holds some interesting stories, including this one. Seriously, I don't feel that I need to express my opinion much with this news article.... Just read it. You'll figure out my thoughts.

So this is blogging?

Just testing it out... trying to figure out the fascination... anyways, like we were talking about in class, http://www.shortnews.com is a wealth of wierd news subjects, I don't know of any other so I will probably stick to that site for my "blogs"...