Tuesday, April 7, 2009

You weren't fired because of the recession, you just suck at your job.

Hello, all! This is Aleesuhn_Muhree reporting here at News Dump. I found this article at The Onion, and thought that maybe you could all relate to such stupidity:

Area Man Thinks He Was Fired Because Of Recession
March 6, 2009
Issue 45•10

CHICAGO—Though there were more than a dozen just causes—including tardiness, gross incompetence, and poor hygiene—to terminate Louis Palmer from his position as an accountant at Brillstein & Altman CPA, PC, the 29-year-old told reporters Monday that he believes he was fired due to economic conditions beyond anyone's control. "Nobody's safe from this recession, man," said Palmer, who might have noticed that his employer actually posted a 12 percent growth in 2008 had he not so frequently been asleep at his desk. "I'm going to miss the two-hour lunch breaks and all the free office supplies, but what are you going to do? The economy's a total wreck." Palmer returned home that evening to discover that his wife had left him, which he attributed to the war in Iraq."

The Onion holds some interesting stories, including this one. Seriously, I don't feel that I need to express my opinion much with this news article.... Just read it. You'll figure out my thoughts.


  1. Haha that's hilarious, although everything on The Onion is fake, I believe.

  2. Well, that's okay lol. This story is actually believable, thought.